Your kid strikes out twice and before the post-game snacks are gone, you're scrolling through private batting lesson packages on your phone. You haven't even asked your kid how they feel about the game yet. But you've already found a guy named Coach Mike who charges $85 an hour and has a 4.9-star rating.
Let's pause there for a second.
The line between "my kid wants to get better" and "I need to do something about what just happened" is thinner than most parents realize. And the youth sports industry has built an entire economy around that blur. Every camp, clinic, private session, and skills academy is designed to catch you in the exact moment when your parental instinct says "fix this."
Sometimes the fix is real. Sometimes you're just soothing your own nerves with someone else's invoice.
Who's Actually Asking for This?
This is the first and most important question, and most parents skip right past it.
There's a real difference between a kid who comes home from practice and says "I want to work on my crossover" and a parent who watches a game and thinks "she needs to work on her crossover." Both might lead to the same Google search. But the motivation behind them changes everything.
When your kid identifies something they want to improve, that's internal drive. That's worth investing in. The motivation already exists. You're just removing a barrier.
When the idea starts with you, that doesn't automatically make it wrong. But it does mean you need to slow down and check your math. Are you solving their problem or processing your own discomfort with how they played?
Honest answer only.
The Green Lights
Extra training genuinely helps when a few things are true at the same time.
The request came from your kid. They brought it up. They named the skill. They want to get better at something specific. You didn't plant the seed after a tough game and wait for them to water it.
The timing is calm. The best decisions about extra training happen on a Tuesday, not in the parking lot after a loss. When emotions are out of the equation, you can actually evaluate whether the investment makes sense.
There's a real gap the team can't fill. Maybe the coaching staff doesn't specialize in the position your kid plays. Maybe they're not getting enough reps in practice. A few targeted sessions with someone who knows what they're doing can genuinely accelerate development, especially during the offseason.
The schedule has room for it. If your kid already has team practice three days a week, games on weekends, and a second sport starting next month, adding another commitment isn't development. It's a countdown to burnout.
The Red Flags
Now for the part that requires a mirror.
You booked the session before you asked your kid. If the training is already on the calendar and your kid hasn't weighed in, that tells you who it's for.
You're reacting to one game. One bad outing is not a pattern. Kids have off days. So do professional athletes who get paid millions of dollars to perform. Booking a private lesson to "correct" a single rough game teaches your kid that every mistake requires an intervention. That's a heavy message.
You're keeping up. The teammate has a pitching coach. The kid who made the select team did a speed and agility program over the summer. You're not evaluating what your kid needs. You're measuring what everyone else is doing. That comparison spiral will empty your bank account and your kid's enthusiasm in equal measure.
Your kid seems fine and you're the one losing sleep. If they've already moved on from the game and you're still replaying the third inning in your head at midnight, the anxiety is yours. That's okay. It just means the solution isn't a training session.
The Conversation Worth Having
Next time the urge hits, try this before you try Coach Mike.
Sit down with your kid when things are calm. Not after a game. Not in the car. Just a normal moment. And say something like: "Is there anything in your sport you wish you could work on? No pressure either way."
Then actually wait for the answer.
If they light up and say "yeah, I've been wanting to work on my shot," you've got a green light. If they shrug and say "not really," believe them. Their answer is data. Use it.
You can also ask their coach. A good coach will tell you honestly whether your kid would benefit from extra work, and what kind. That outside perspective can cut through the noise of your own anxiety faster than anything.
The Hardest Part
The hardest part of this whole thing isn't finding the right trainer or fitting another session into the calendar. The hardest part is sitting with the discomfort of watching your kid struggle and choosing not to intervene.
Because sometimes the most productive thing you can do after a tough game is nothing. Let them feel it. Let them process it on their own terms. Let them come to you if and when they're ready.
Your kid doesn't need you to optimize their development after every bad Saturday. They need you to trust that struggle is part of the process, not a problem you need to solve before Monday.
The best investment you can make in your young athlete isn't a private lesson. It's the patience to let them tell you what they need, and the self-awareness to notice when the urgency is coming from your chair, not their cleats.
Ian Goldberg is the CEO of Signature Media and the Editor of the largest and fastest growing sports parenting newsletter. He's been recognized as an industry expert by the National Alliance for Youth Sports, the US Olympic Committee's Truesport, and the Aspen Institute's Project Play. Ian is also a suburban NJ sports dad of two teenage daughters and has over 2,000 hours of volunteer time coaching them (which he calls the most fun form of R&D for his newsletter content). Ian and his team provide players, coaches, parents and program directors with the articles and content they need to have a great sports season. Ian has spent most of his career in digital product development and marketing and got his start at the White House where he worked for the economic advisors to two US Presidents.
