Before the season started, you sat down with your kid and talked about what they wanted to accomplish. It seemed like the right thing to do. Goal-setting is good, right?
So they came up with a list:
Work on my left foot. Get more playing time. Score more goals. Be a better teammate. Improve my fitness. Stay positive after mistakes. Make the all-star team.
Seven goals. All reasonable. All good things to work on.
And now, ten games into the season, your kid is stressed, scattered, and not making meaningful progress on any of them.
Here's the problem: more goals doesn't mean more progress. It usually means less. When everything is a priority, nothing is.
Why Multiple Goals Backfire
Our brains aren't built for divided focus. When you give a young athlete seven things to work on, you're not giving them direction. You're giving them overwhelm.
Attention splits. During a game, they can't think about their left foot AND their positioning AND staying positive AND being a better teammate all at once. So they think about none of it intentionally and just react.
Progress becomes invisible. When you're tracking seven things, small improvements in any single area don't feel meaningful. You're always behind on something.
Stress compounds. Every game becomes an evaluation against multiple metrics. Did I score? Was I positive? Did I use my left foot? Did I get more playing time? That's not competition. That's an audit.
Motivation fractures. Working toward one clear goal feels purposeful. Working toward seven feels like spinning plates. Eventually, kids stop caring about any of them because the whole thing feels impossible.
The research on goal-setting is clear: fewer, more specific goals outperform long lists every time. And for young athletes still developing focus and self-regulation, this is especially true.
The One Goal Rule
Here's a different approach: one goal at a time.
Not one goal forever. One goal for now. A single point of focus that gets your kid's full attention until it's internalized or achieved. Then you move to the next one.
This isn't about limiting ambition. It's about creating conditions where actual progress happens.
One goal means:
Clear focus. Before the game: "What's your one thing today?" They know exactly what they're working on.
Visible progress. When you're only tracking one thing, improvement is obvious. That builds confidence and momentum.
Reduced pressure. One goal is manageable. It doesn't feel like a performance review with seven criteria.
Deeper learning. Skills get internalized when they get repetition and attention. Spreading focus across seven goals means nothing gets enough reps to stick.
How to Choose the One Goal
Not all goals are created equal. The best single goal has a few characteristics:
It's within their control. "Score more goals" depends on teammates, opponents, and luck. "Take more shots" is within their control. "Make the all-star team" is an outcome. "Work on my weak foot every practice" is a process.
It's specific enough to act on. "Be better" isn't a goal. "Call for the ball more" is a goal. "Stay positive" is vague. "Take a breath and reset after every mistake" is actionable.
It's meaningful to them. Not what you think they should work on. What they actually care about. Ownership matters. A goal they chose will get more effort than one you assigned.
It's appropriately sized. Big enough to matter, small enough to achieve in a reasonable timeframe. "Improve my fitness" is a season-long project. "Run hard for the full first half" is achievable this week.
Sit down with your kid and ask: "If you could only get better at one thing this month, what would it be?" Let them answer. Then help them refine it into something specific and actionable.
The Goal Rotation System
One goal doesn't mean one goal forever. It means one goal at a time with intentional rotation.
Here's how it works:
Weeks 1-3: Focus on Goal A. Every practice, every game, that's the focus. Before: "Remember, we're working on X." After: "How did X go today?"
Check-in: After a few weeks, evaluate. Has it improved? Is it becoming automatic? If yes, it's time to rotate. If no, stick with it longer or adjust the goal to make it more achievable.
Weeks 4-6: Move to Goal B. Goal A doesn't disappear. It just moves to maintenance mode while Goal B gets the spotlight.
Repeat: Over a season, you might work through three or four focused goals. Each one gets real attention. Each one actually improves.
This is how sustainable development happens. Not by chasing everything at once, but by systematically improving one thing at a time.
What About the Other Goals?
Your kid had seven goals. You're only focusing on one. What happens to the other six?
Some will happen naturally. "Be a better teammate" often improves automatically when your kid is less stressed and more confident. "Get more playing time" often follows when actual skills improve.
Some can wait. Not everything needs to happen this season. Some goals are better suited for next season, the off-season, or a year from now. Having a goal doesn't mean it needs immediate attention.
Some might not matter as much as they thought. When forced to choose one priority, kids often realize that some of their goals were things they thought they should want, not things they actually care about. That's useful clarity.
Write down all the goals. Pick one. Put the list somewhere visible. Your kid can see that the other goals aren't forgotten. They're just waiting their turn.
The Parent Trap
Here's where parents sometimes make things worse: adding goals without realizing it.
Your kid has their one focus. Then you add commentary:
"Good job working on your left foot! But you know, you also need to talk more on defense."
"That was better! Now let's work on your first touch too."
"Don't forget about staying positive!"
Every piece of feedback becomes an additional goal. Suddenly your kid is back to juggling seven things, except now they're getting them from you in real-time.
Discipline yourself. If your kid's goal is their left foot, then your feedback is about their left foot. Everything else can wait. You're not ignoring other areas. You're protecting their focus.
This is hard. You'll see things you want to comment on. Resist. The power of one goal only works if everyone commits to it.
The Pre-Game and Post-Game Script
Make the one goal part of your routine.
Before the game:
"What's your one thing today?"
Let them say it out loud. This activates their focus and makes it concrete.
After the game:
"How did your one thing go?"
Not "how was the game?" Not "did you win?" The question is about their focus, regardless of the outcome.
This keeps the goal alive without adding pressure. It also teaches your kid to self-evaluate based on process, not just results.
Why This Builds Better Athletes
The one goal rule isn't just about reducing stress (though it does that). It's about how skill development actually works.
Skills become automatic through focused repetition. When your kid works on one thing with full attention, they're building neural pathways that stick. When they spread attention across seven things, nothing gets enough repetition to become second nature.
Athletes who can focus deeply on one area at a time develop faster than athletes who constantly scatter their attention. They also enjoy the process more because they can actually see themselves improving.
And here's the long-term benefit: you're teaching your kid how to learn. How to prioritize. How to commit to something fully before moving on. Those meta-skills transfer far beyond sports.
The Bottom Line
Your kid doesn't need seven goals. They need one.
One clear, specific, controllable focus that gets their full attention. One thing to work on before the game, evaluate after the game, and track over time.
When that one thing improves, pick the next one.
This is slower than trying to fix everything at once. It's also the only approach that actually works.
More goals equals more stress and less progress. One goal equals focus, momentum, and real development.
Keep it simple. Watch them grow.
Ian Goldberg is the CEO of Signature Media and the Editor of the largest and fastest growing sports parenting newsletter. He's been recognized as an industry expert by the National Alliance for Youth Sports, the US Olympic Committee's Truesport, and the Aspen Institute's Project Play. Ian is also a suburban NJ sports dad of two teenage daughters and has over 2,000 hours of volunteer time coaching them (which he calls the most fun form of R&D for his newsletter content). Ian and his team provide players, coaches, parents and program directors with the articles and content they need to have a great sports season. Ian has spent most of his career in digital product development and marketing and got his start at the White House where he worked for the economic advisors to two US Presidents.
