Your kid is at the free throw line. The game is close. The crowd is loud. And somewhere in their head, a dozen thoughts are competing for attention.
Did I mess up that last play? Is Mom watching? What if I miss? Why is that kid on the other team staring at me? I'm so tired. Wait, what's my form supposed to look like again?
Welcome to the mental chaos of being a young athlete.
We spend a lot of time helping kids develop physical skills. Footwork. Technique. Speed. Strength. But the ability to focus when everything around them (and inside them) is screaming for attention? That's often the difference between a good athlete and a great one.
And here's the thing: focus is a skill. It can be learned, practiced, and strengthened. Which means your kid isn't stuck with whatever attention span they were born with. They can get better at this.
The Distractions Young Athletes Actually Face
Before we talk solutions, let's name the problem. Distractions come in two flavors:
External distractions are the things happening around them: loud crowds or hostile fans, weather (heat, rain, wind, cold), unfamiliar fields or gyms, comments from coaches, parents, or teammates, the phone buzzing in their bag.
Internal distractions are the things happening inside their head: fear of messing up, overthinking technique mid-play, replaying a mistake they made earlier, worrying about what you or the coach will think, feeling tired, sore, or just off.
Most young athletes deal with some combination of both, often at the same time. The good news is that the strategies for managing them overlap.
Build a Pre-Game Routine (And Actually Use It)
Routines aren't just superstition. They're mental anchors.
When your athlete does the same sequence of things before every game or performance, it signals to their brain: okay, we've done this before. We know what comes next. That sense of familiarity creates calm, even in high-pressure moments.
A pre-game routine might include a specific warm-up done in the same order every time, a few deep breaths before stepping onto the field, a quick mental replay of what they want to focus on, or a word or phrase they say to themselves (something simple like "I'm ready" or "Let's go").
The routine doesn't have to be complicated. It just has to be consistent.
Practice Coming Back to the Present
This is mindfulness, but you don't have to call it that if your kid thinks it sounds weird.
The idea is simple: when your mind wanders (and it will), you need a way to bring it back. Athletes who can do this quickly have a huge advantage over those who spiral after one bad play.
The five senses check-in works well. Take five seconds to notice one thing you can see, hear, and feel. It sounds basic, but it yanks the brain out of "what if" mode and back into "right now" mode.
Focusing on breathing helps too. One deep breath, in through the nose, out through the mouth. That's it. It's a reset button.
Or pick one thing to focus on. Instead of thinking about everything, zoom in on one specific task. "Watch the ball." "Stay on my toes." "Find space." Giving the brain a job keeps it from wandering.
Even five minutes of practicing this at home (yes, really, just five minutes) can make a noticeable difference over time.
Have a Plan for When Thoughts Go Sideways
Negative thoughts happen. The goal isn't to never have them. The goal is to not let them take over.
A trigger word can help. When a bad thought pops up, your athlete can say a word to themselves (silently or out loud) to interrupt it. Something like "reset," "next play," or even just "stop." It sounds too simple to work, but the interruption is the point.
A physical reset works too. Some athletes tap their wrist, adjust their headband, or bounce on their toes. The physical action breaks the mental loop.
Or try changing the channel. Visualize literally switching the channel in your brain. The bad thought is on one channel. Switch to a different one. What's on the new channel? The next play. The thing you can control. What you're about to do, not what you just did.
These techniques work best when they're practiced during training, not just pulled out during a big game. The more automatic they become, the more useful they are under pressure.
Breathe Like It's a Skill (Because It Is)
Breathing is the fastest way to calm a nervous system. And most young athletes have no idea how to use it.
Box breathing works like this: inhale for 4 counts, hold for 4 counts, exhale for 4 counts, hold for 4 counts, repeat.
The 4-7-8 method is another option: inhale for 4 counts, hold for 7 counts, exhale slowly for 8 counts.
Or try simple tactical breathing: equal inhale and exhale through the nose, four counts in, four counts out.
Any of these, done for even 30 seconds, can shift your athlete from "fight or flight" mode to "focused and ready" mode.
Visualize Handling the Hard Moments
Mental rehearsal isn't just for picturing the perfect performance. It's for practicing how to respond when things go wrong.
Have your athlete close their eyes and imagine a distraction happening (crowd noise, a bad call, a mistake), then themselves noticing it, taking a breath, and refocusing, then getting back into the game and performing well.
This kind of visualization builds mental muscle memory. When the real moment comes, their brain has already practiced the response.
Talk to Themselves Like a Good Teammate Would
The way your athlete talks to themselves matters more than you might think.
If their inner voice sounds like a harsh critic ("You're so bad at this. Everyone's watching you mess up."), they're going to struggle to focus. If it sounds like a supportive teammate ("Shake it off. Next play. You've got this."), they're going to bounce back faster.
Help your athlete notice their self-talk. Ask them: what do you say to yourself when things go wrong? Would you say that to a teammate? If not, what would you say instead?
This isn't about toxic positivity or pretending everything is fine. It's about staying in the game mentally instead of beating themselves up while the play is still happening.
Keep Perspective (And Help Them Keep It Too)
Sometimes the best way to handle distractions is to zoom out.
This is one game. One practice. One moment. It's not their entire athletic career. It's not a reflection of their worth as a person. It's just a thing that's happening, and they get to decide how they respond.
Athletes who see challenges as opportunities to grow (instead of threats to survive) handle distractions better. They're more resilient. They recover faster. And they actually enjoy competing more.
You can help with this by how you talk about sports at home. Focus on effort and growth, not just outcomes. Celebrate the mental wins ("I saw you shake off that mistake and get right back in it") as much as the physical ones.
The Bigger Picture
Here's what's really cool about all of this: the skills your kid develops to handle distractions in sports don't stay on the field.
Focus. Emotional regulation. Resilience. The ability to stay calm under pressure and bring your attention back to what matters. These are life skills. They show up in school, in friendships, in future jobs, in everything.
So when you help your young athlete learn to manage distractions, you're not just helping them become a better competitor. You're helping them become a more capable, confident person.
And that's worth way more than any trophy.
The Bottom Line
Distractions are part of sports. They're part of life. The goal isn't to eliminate them. It's to build the mental tools to handle them.
Routines. Breathing. Present-moment focus. A plan for when thoughts go sideways. Kind self-talk. Perspective.
None of this happens overnight. Like any skill, it takes practice. But the young athlete who commits to developing their mental game alongside their physical game has an advantage that lasts long after the season ends.
And it starts with one simple idea: you can't always control what happens around you, but you can always control where you put your attention.
That's a superpower worth building.
Ian Goldberg is the CEO of Signature Media and the Editor of the largest and fastest growing sports parenting newsletter. He's been recognized as an industry expert by the National Alliance for Youth Sports, the US Olympic Committee's Truesport, and the Aspen Institute's Project Play. Ian is also a suburban NJ sports dad of two teenage daughters and has over 2,000 hours of volunteer time coaching them (which he calls the most fun form of R&D for his newsletter content). Ian and his team provide players, coaches, parents and program directors with the articles and content they need to have a great sports season. Ian has spent most of his career in digital product development and marketing and got his start at the White House where he worked for the economic advisors to two US Presidents.
