When I signed my first child up for gymnastics, and later for softball, I thought I knew what I was getting into. Show up. Cheer. Take some photos. How hard could it be?
Turns out, being your kid's cheerleader is the simple part. The stuff that surrounds the games, the politics, the costs, the emotions, the other parents, that's where it gets complicated.
Youth sports is its own culture with unwritten rules, unexpected challenges, and moments that will test you as much as they test your child. If you're new to this world, or even just a few seasons in, here's what I wish someone had told me at the start.
You Will See Some Truly Terrible Parenting
Not parents having a bad day. We all have those. I'm talking about parents who are consistently pushy, obnoxious, impatient, and completely blind to how their behavior affects their kid.
You'll watch a dad berate his 8-year-old after a strikeout. You'll hear a mom loudly criticize the coach within earshot of the whole team. You'll witness sideline meltdowns that make you cringe.
The temptation is to engage, to say something, to let their negativity pull you in. Don't. Steer clear. Protect your own headspace. You can't fix someone else's parenting, but you can make sure their energy doesn't infect yours.
Your child is watching how you handle difficult people. Show them what it looks like to stay above it.
It Will Get Expensive
Even "affordable" sports add up fast. Registration fees. Equipment. Cleats they outgrow in four months. The team hoodie. The end-of-season gift for the coach. The snack bar purchases that somehow total $47 by the end of a tournament.
If you move into travel ball, multiply everything. Tournament fees. Hotel rooms. Gas money. The gear upgrades that suddenly feel mandatory when everyone else has them.
And then there's the extras: private lessons, specialty camps, skills clinics. Each one promises to give your child an edge.
Some of it is worth it. A lot of it isn't. Before you say yes to anything, ask yourself: does my child actually need this, or am I getting sucked into the youth sports spending machine? Weigh the cost against the actual benefit, not the fear of falling behind.
Your Kid Will Have a Coach They Don't Like
It's not a matter of if. It's when.
Maybe the coach doesn't know what they're doing. Maybe they can't relate to kids. Maybe they only care about winning, or don't seem to care about winning at all. Maybe they're clearly coaching just to showcase their own child.
Your instinct will be to fix it, to intervene, to advocate. Sometimes that's appropriate. But often, a difficult coach is a gift wrapped in frustration.
Your child will have bosses they don't like someday. Teachers who aren't fair. Colleagues who are hard to work with. Learning to navigate a difficult coach, while still showing up and doing their best, is training for real life.
Use it as an opportunity. Talk with your child about how to handle people who are hard to work with. That lesson will outlast the season.
You Will See Some Questionable Officiating
Referees are human. They miss calls. They seem biased. They appear to not know certain rules. They have bad days just like the rest of us.
It's okay to groan when a call goes against your team. It's okay to feel frustrated. What's not okay is turning into the parent who screams at a teenager in a striped shirt or makes the sideline uncomfortable for everyone.
Your child will face unfair situations throughout their life. Bad calls are practice for handling injustice with composure. If you lose your mind over a questionable foul call, you're teaching them the opposite lesson.
Moan a little. Then let it go.
Your Child Might Not Be as Good as You Think
This one stings, but it's important.
Parents are biased. We see our kids through a filter of love and hope and investment. We watch them make a great play and think "future star." We watch them sit on the bench and think "the coach doesn't see what I see."
Sometimes we're right. Often we're not.
Your child might be average. They might be below average. They might be great at one thing and struggle with others. Their development might not match their teammates because bodies grow at different rates.
Take off the rose-colored glasses occasionally and try to see your child clearly. Not to diminish them, but to support them realistically. They should always be a star to you, but that doesn't mean they're the best player on the team.
Loving your child and accurately assessing their abilities are two different things. You can do both.
Your Child Won't Always Want Your Help
You see something they could improve. You have advice that would actually help. You played this sport yourself and you know what you're talking about.
None of that matters if they don't want to hear it.
Trying to coach your kid when they're not receptive doesn't help them. It damages your relationship. They tune you out, resent the input, and start associating you with pressure instead of support.
Sometimes the best thing you can do is step back and let someone else be the teacher. Let the coach coach. Let them figure things out on their own. Save your input for the moments when they actually ask for it.
Your relationship with your child will outlast their sports career. Protect it.
You Will Be Stretched
Youth sports will test your character as much as it tests your child's.
You'll seethe at a bad call. You'll cry when they're disappointed. You'll want to punch the parent who says something cruel about your kid. You'll say things in the car ride home that you regret before you even finish the sentence.
Being a sports parent is not a passive experience. It activates every protective instinct, every competitive impulse, every vulnerability you have about your child's happiness and success.
Accept the challenge. Learn from your mistakes. Forgive yourself when you fall short. If you approach it with humility, you'll grow up right alongside your child.
You Will Have Moments of Pure Joy
There are few things better than watching your child succeed at something they've worked hard for.
The award they didn't expect. The clutch play that surprised everyone, including them. The moment they help a struggling teammate instead of worrying about themselves. The time they lose with grace or win with humility.
You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll probably embarrass them by cheering too loud at least once.
Remember that success isn't just statistics. It's the person your child is becoming as they face challenges. The scoreboard measures one thing. Character measures everything else.
Your Child Will Get Hurt
If they play long enough, injury is inevitable. A tweaked ankle. A jammed finger. A collision that stops your heart for a second. Maybe something more serious.
It's never easy to watch. Your instinct will be to rush in, to fix it, to make it stop. And when they recover, the temptation will be to push them back before they're fully ready because they're eager and you're eager and the team needs them.
Resist that temptation. Proper healing takes time. Rushing back from an injury often leads to re-injury or longer-term problems. Be the parent who prioritizes their health over the game, even when they're begging to play.
It Will Get Political
Youth sports has politics. Playing time decisions. Team selections. Coaching favorites. Parent cliques. Drama in the group chat. Rumors in the parking lot.
You can engage with it or you can stay out of it. I strongly recommend staying out of it.
The parents who get pulled into the drama rarely change anything except their own stress levels. The parents who stay above it model something valuable for their kids: you can participate in a system without getting consumed by its dysfunction.
There will be unfair moments. There will be decisions you disagree with. Voice your concerns through appropriate channels, then let it go. The drama isn't worth your peace of mind.
The Real Point
These ten things aren't warnings meant to scare you off. Youth sports is wonderful. It builds character, creates friendships, teaches lessons that last a lifetime.
But it also comes with challenges that catch new parents off guard. The more prepared you are for the hard parts, the more you can enjoy the good parts.
Your job isn't to make every experience perfect for your child. It's to help them navigate the good and the bad with resilience, perspective, and a parent who stays steady through all of it.
Welcome to the sideline. It's going to be a ride.
Ian Goldberg is the CEO of Signature Media and the Editor of the largest and fastest growing sports parenting newsletter. He’s been recognized as an industry expert by the National Alliance for Youth Sports, the US Olympic Committee’s Truesport, and the Aspen Institute's Project Play. Ian is also a suburban NJ sports dad of two teenage daughters and has over 2,000 hours of volunteer time coaching them (which he calls the most fun form of R&D for his newsletter content). Ian and his team provide players, coaches, parents and program directors with the articles and content they need to have a great sports season. Ian has spent most of his career in digital product development and marketing and got his start at the White House where he worked for the economic advisors to two US Presidents.
