When Steve Kerr speaks, people listen — and this time, he’s not talking about the Warriors’ defense or Steph Curry’s shooting form. In a short clip shared by the Positive Coaching Alliance, Kerr shares a message every youth sports parent and coach should hear: the sidelines set the tone.
At a mandatory meeting for parents in his youth club, Kerr outlined a few simple rules that could transform how kids experience sports. None of them were revolutionary, but together they highlight what’s missing from a lot of youth fields and courts today — respect, restraint, and perspective.
Rule #1: Take Issues to the Coach, Not the Crowd
Kerr starts by telling parents that if they have a problem with something he does, they should come to him directly and privately. No whispered complaints during warmups. No venting in the stands.
He’s right — direct communication beats sideline politics every time.
When adults model open, respectful conversations, it teaches kids how to handle conflict the same way. More importantly, it prevents the negativity that so often spreads through teams before the kids even notice what’s happening.
Rule #2: Keep the Sidelines Positive
Kerr also reminds parents not to trash-talk other teams — or their own. Youth sports already come with enough pressure without hearing adults criticize every missed shot or bad call.
Cheering is encouraged. Criticism is not.
What players need most in those moments isn’t an analysis of what went wrong — it’s the reassurance that mistakes are part of learning. Keeping the sidelines positive doesn’t just create a healthier environment; it makes the experience more enjoyable for everyone involved.
Rule #3: Let the Coaches Coach
This might be the toughest one for parents to follow. Kerr emphasizes that giving instructions from the sidelines does more harm than good. When kids hear mixed messages from coaches and parents, they freeze up, overthink, and stop playing instinctively.
As Kerr puts it, “They’re best off just playing and listening to the coaches.”
It’s a reminder that trust is a crucial part of development — trusting the coaches to teach, trusting the kids to learn, and trusting that long-term growth matters more than any single game.
A Simple Pact for a Better Game
Kerr admits not every parent will follow these rules perfectly. But his advice for coaches is refreshingly practical: talk to each other before the game, set shared expectations, and make a pact to keep things positive.
Youth sports work best when adults remember their real role — not as sideline strategists or referees, but as supporters who create the space for kids to thrive.
Because at the end of the day, no kid ever said, “My favorite part of sports was when the adults argued.”
Ian Goldberg is the CEO of Signature Media and the Editor of the largest and fastest growing sports parenting newsletter. He’s been recognized as an industry expert by the National Alliance for Youth Sports, the US Olympic Committee’s Truesport, and the Aspen Institute's Project Play. Ian is also a suburban NJ sports dad of two teenage daughters and has over 2,000 hours of volunteer time coaching them (which he calls the most fun form of R&D for his newsletter content). Ian and his team provide players, coaches, parents and program directors with the articles and content they need to have a great sports season. Ian has spent most of his career in digital product development and marketing and got his start at the White House where he worked for the economic advisors to two US Presidents.
