You've seen it before: the kid who suddenly starts withdrawing from the team. The star player whose performance tanks after one bad game. The athlete who shows up to practice but seems a million miles away.
As a coach, you're not a therapist. You're not expected to diagnose or treat mental health issues. But here's the truth: you have more influence on your athletes' mental well-being than you might realize. The way you coach, communicate, and create your team culture directly impacts whether kids thrive or struggle—not just in sports, but in life.
Sports can be transformative for young athletes, offering physical benefits, life lessons, and a sense of belonging. But they can also be a source of intense pressure, anxiety, and stress. As a coach, you're in a unique position to make sure the experience builds kids up rather than breaks them down.
Start With Communication
The foundation of supporting athletes' mental health is simple: create an environment where they feel safe talking to you.
This doesn't mean you need to be their best friend or therapist. It means reading the room. Paying attention when something seems off. Asking, "How are you doing?" and actually listening to the answer.
Pre-game jitters, school stress, friend drama, family issues—all of it affects how kids show up on the field or court. When athletes know they can talk to you without judgment or repercussions, they're more likely to open up before small issues become big ones.
Foster open lines of communication with your captains too. Let them know they can come to you with team issues, and make it clear there won't be consequences for bringing problems to your attention. Sometimes, kids will talk to each other before they talk to you—so having captains you trust can help you stay aware of what's really going on.
Make Mental Health Normal
One of the most powerful things you can do as a coach is normalize mental health conversations. When you talk openly about the importance of mental well-being, you reduce the stigma that keeps kids from asking for help.
Make it clear that taking care of your mind is just as important as taking care of your body. If an athlete wouldn't play through a broken ankle, why should they push through crippling anxiety or depression?
I've had players with anxiety issues, and I've worked with them. When they have an episode at practice, they know they can come sit with me until they're ready to rejoin the team. No shame, no questions asked. That simple acknowledgment—that mental health struggles are real and valid—can make all the difference.
Teach Them How to Cope
Young athletes face pressure from all sides: school, social lives, family expectations, and their own internal drive to succeed. Teaching them coping strategies gives them tools they can use for the rest of their lives.
You don't need to be an expert. Simple techniques like deep breathing exercises, visualization, mindfulness, and positive self-talk can help athletes manage stress, anxiety, and performance pressure. Walk them through it before a big game. Practice it during warm-ups. Make it part of your routine.
When kids learn how to calm their minds and refocus their energy, they perform better—and they feel better doing it.
Focus on the Process, Not Just the Scoreboard
Here's a question: What does your team celebrate? Only wins? Or effort, growth, and improvement?
When the focus is entirely on winning and losing, athletes experience more performance anxiety. They tie their self-worth to the scoreboard, and every loss becomes a referendum on whether they're good enough.
But when you emphasize the process—the effort they put in, the progress they're making, the skills they're developing—you shift the pressure. Athletes start caring about getting better, not just getting wins. And ironically, that mindset often leads to more success anyway.
This also helps kids develop a genuine love for the sport itself, not just the thrill of victory. And that love is what keeps them playing long-term.
Set Realistic, Individual Expectations
Not every kid on your team is going to be a star. And that's okay.
One of the biggest sources of stress for young athletes is feeling like they're not measuring up to unrealistic standards. As a coach, you can reduce that stress by setting individualized expectations that meet each athlete where they are.
Focus on personal progress, effort, and personal bests—not comparing everyone to the top performer. Support each athlete's strengths. Too often, we try to force kids to change instead of leveraging the unique gifts they bring to the team.
When kids feel seen and valued for who they are, not who you wish they'd be, they show up with more confidence and less anxiety.
Reframe Failure
Every athlete fails. Every single one. The difference between kids who bounce back and kids who crumble is how they're taught to think about failure.
Help your athletes see failure as feedback, not a verdict on their worth. Encourage them to analyze what went wrong, learn from it, and try again. Remind them that every successful athlete they admire has faced countless failures along the way.
And here's the key: you have to model this yourself. Talk to your players about mistakes you've made. Show them that it's okay to mess up, as long as you learn from it. When they see you being honest and vulnerable, they'll feel safer doing the same.
Give Positive Feedback (Regularly)
Positive reinforcement isn't just feel-good fluff—it's one of the most powerful tools you have for building confident, mentally healthy athletes.
Offer constructive, encouraging feedback regularly. Not just after wins, but after tough practices, after mistakes, after moments when they tried something new and it didn't work. Let them know you see their effort, their growth, their potential.
This doesn't mean lying or sugarcoating everything. It means finding the good and naming it, even when there's work to be done. Athletes who feel supported by their coach are more resilient, more confident, and better equipped to handle adversity.
Build a Team That Supports Each Other
A strong team bond isn't just good for winning games—it's good for mental health. Athletes who feel a sense of belonging are better equipped to cope with stress and adversity.
Organize team-building activities. Encourage teammates to support each other. Emphasize that everyone's success matters, not just the starters'. When kids know their teammates have their back, they feel less alone in their struggles.
Know the Warning Signs
You're not expected to diagnose mental health issues, but you should know what to look for.
Sudden changes in behavior, withdrawal from the team, decreased performance, expressions of distress—these can all be signs that something's wrong. When you notice them, don't ignore them. Approach the athlete privately, express your concern, and offer support.
You don't need to have all the answers. Sometimes, just knowing that someone cares is enough to help a kid open up.
Connect Them to the Right Resources
You're a coach, not a therapist—and that's okay. Your job isn't to fix everything, but you can connect athletes to people who can help.
School counselors, sports psychologists, and other qualified professionals are there for a reason. If an athlete is struggling beyond what you can support, help them access those resources. Sometimes, the most important thing you can do is recognize when someone needs more help than you can provide.
Be the Example
Kids are watching everything you do. How you handle stress. How you respond to mistakes. How you treat people when things aren't going your way.
If you want your athletes to be resilient, composed, and mentally healthy, you have to model that behavior yourself. Show them what it looks like to care about people's overall well-being, not just their performance on game day.
Encourage Balance
Sports are important, but they're not everything. Coaches who help young athletes maintain balance—excelling in school, having social lives, enjoying hobbies outside of sports—contribute to healthier, happier kids.
Remind your athletes that they're more than just players. They're students, friends, siblings, people with interests and identities beyond the team. When they have a well-rounded life, they're better equipped to handle the pressures of competitive sports.
The Bottom Line
Coaching youth athletes goes beyond teaching them skills and tactics. It's about nurturing their mental well-being so they can become not just better athletes, but healthier, more resilient people.
You don't need to be a mental health expert to make a difference. You just need to create an open, supportive environment where kids feel safe, valued, and equipped to handle whatever comes their way.
When you do that, you're not just building a winning team—you're shaping young people who will carry those lessons into every aspect of their lives. And that's a legacy worth leaving.
Ian Goldberg is the CEO of Signature Media and the Editor of the largest and fastest growing sports parenting newsletter. He’s been recognized as an industry expert by the National Alliance for Youth Sports, the US Olympic Committee’s Truesport, and the Aspen Institute's Project Play. Ian is also a suburban NJ sports dad of two teenage daughters and has over 2,000 hours of volunteer time coaching them (which he calls the most fun form of R&D for his newsletter content). Ian and his team provide players, coaches, parents and program directors with the articles and content they need to have a great sports season. Ian has spent most of his career in digital product development and marketing and got his start at the White House where he worked for the economic advisors to two US Presidents.
